it is already saturday. only one week left then i will be able to sleep soundly again with no worries, no pressure just mere enjoyment and the thing i want most is relaxation. Ive been sleeping almost 4hrs this week. My christmas gift for her is really consuming every bit of my effort. It is really hard, i never imagine this gift to be really hard. In addition to that i have responsibilities to my organization which adds to my worries and problems. I dont know how i can finish this gift. All I cling is my hope to make her happy. All i do is pray that everything will be alright and that i might not collapse and fall due to over fatigue. This is the hardest point of my second semester, with all this trials piling up. There are really times when i want to give up and just be dead for a while. My negative side is much stronger considering im very tired. But at some point i dont wanna give up because i might not have a chance to see her eyes smile. I might not have a chance for a minute of conversation, for a minute of sitting next to her. So im doing the best that i can, the best of my effort, though i have doubts and i have fears in my heart that will explode in a moment. I still do not lose hope, besides this is all ive got, if it will be gone, what will happen to me? i justs want to write something in order to lessen what i feel...
To contiue my post, i have given up my christmas gift for her because i really cant finish my gift. I was really down, it was so sad to think of that my effort will just go to waste. But im sorry but i have to give up for now. So after deciding what to do, days passed by and it was almost jpia day, a day before i receive my gift from my tax professor and i was really happy because i really love to have it and second out of nowhere she texted me that she will give me her gift when she came back from the province so i was so damn happy but to my disappointment my cp was damage and all my precious messages frome her was gone in an instant. damn i really saved those messages, they were my precious treasures that i kept for almost i year. I cried instantly when i got home because it has been a part of me for one year, i always read those messages when im down, when im happy, before i sleep after i wake up in the morning, it has been apart of me. Those messages will not happen again, those memories i can no longer revisit, those sweet messages of her. this post will be unending if i write my heart out because im really sad.
Anyways it was all over so i just have to look forward seeing a brighter day...
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