My drifting mind

Im currently having a break from my 4hr study on auditing theory, 3 quizzes have passed and up until this moment im praying that i somehow got an above average score thou i dont expect it. Actually im thinking of her right now, i sometimes see her in the campus, saying hi or hello, smiling for seconds and after she was gone, gone where my smile. ive trying to bring back my not texting days because i think that will make me more ok. actually it's a miracle if she will text me first because since then she doesnt text me and asking me hello how are you. i miss the past and i fear the future.. i fear that i might not make my last year in college memorable, yes im thankful to the lord that i passed my exam and unofficially im now a Certified Accounting Technician and a Registered Cost Accountant, somehow im slowly achieving my goals, i even celebrated with my friends, but the real person who'll make me happy is not with me, i tried to arranged a lunch with her but rejected many times and somehow im tired trying to think of ways just to be with her, up until now we havent had a picture together, i picture that will not change even thou the person in it does, she's my dearest love but i havent had any picture of her, oh crap i must be the worthless lover ever haha i cant even have a picture thou we knew each other for 3 yrs now, ill be the most pitiful guy if up until graduation i dont have a picture with her, i will surely be sad, really really sad, and days are rapidly passing by, two months from now it will gonna be her birthday and im in a confusion on what will i do haha i know ill be happy if i give her a gift but on the other hand ill be sad because i cant pretend that she's just my friend. i know she'll be happy on her day because there will be a lot of gifts coming from her friends and i know they have a bunch of ways to make her day memorable and i know she'll be happy even without my gift. i dont want to make myself a burden from her, she fine now, the picture is already good so i must not meddle with her anymore because i'll just distort it. im empty right now actually, my crush is not adding me to her friends in fb and also she didnt even bother to reply to my text when i was still using my sun sim, that was a great loss haha i thought she was the one because she gave me her number, she was beautiful, was kind but maybe she just dont like me haha. im rejected indirectly again haha. well what's new about it? im been like this since i was on elementary. oh crap. i remeber what i said on my last training seminar "Success is nothing if you dont have someone to hold to at the end of the day and you dont have someone to share your sorrows and happiness" im really sad..

I unintenionally hurt her..

last day when i was in the tabi tabi lang haha. someone with a nice and familiar voice called my name thou i cant pinpoint who she was so i looked where the voice was coming and to my surprise it was her, she tapped me but i snob her and after that she was gone in an instant. i just said to myself that it was the right thing to do. i didnt think of it after a while but when someone told me "why did you snob her?" and then i asked myself why did i do such a thing and after that i checked my screened messages because their was something bothering me and i read a message from her, saying that she was hurt because i didnt talk with her. and then i suddenly felt that it was a bad move since i hurt her but of course i didnt mean that. i felt bad after that so i asked my someone and then she said it was really a bad move, so later that night i texted her saying im sorry i know she was already asleep so the next morning i received a smiley from her, thinking that my sorry was accepted i asked her if it was an acknowledgment of my apology and she said that were not enemies so its ok. after that we have a conversation which i missed for a couple of months, she said that i made her cry, she missed me really lot and somehow i felt again some spark of love in what she said, yes indeed i missed her also, once again i smiled while i was reading books and that feeling was what ive left since i started moving on. actually right now, my head is full of thoughts about her, i dont know if ive move on or not, i dont know, somehow im angry about my barkadas who always make fun of her in a really bad way, somehow i feel like they are not just disrespecting her but it also somehow implies that they do not respect me, i hate that, its really getting on my nerves, its ok if it was just me but they are dragging her name in, im just trying to suppress my anger with them because i dont want to get into trouble but really i hope they stop, they are just too immature and insensitive about the way i feel darn i wish i could throw a punch at them so that they can realize that what they're doing was wrong, just a little more and maybe ill be getting into a fight with them and hopefully ill be expelled into school and then ill ruin my life oh crap. i just pray the lord that he will give me strength and patience with them. ill be having a lunch together with her next week so im really excited hehe :) i dont know if this is wrong or not, ill just maybe go with the flow and let god watch over me.

The start of my last year in college

hi :) its been a while, actually im very busy preparing for the last level of my exam. Actually last night when i was reviewing for my exam, i received a txt message from her, and that message made my tears fall in an instant thou i managed to wipe it away, she told that shes misses me and she will still cheer me up and that she understands why i suddenly vanished in her world...Ive been empty for a while, i can say that i miss the feeling of being attached to her, it's been two months already and still sometimes i miss her and then ill think of her, i miss the feeling of smiling while reading my books but you know what? sometimes we must do something even if its hard on our part. i mean as of now this is the best way to let myself move on even though she still sent me message that she really misses me and that im still her angel, ive gotta keep distance on her, she's ok now and i dont wanna ruin that part. im really sleepy so i gotta keep going.

Favorite scenes in my girlfriend is a gumiho

The series was consists of 16 episodes which has a duration of 1 hour each.
Episode 1 screencaps:

Dae Woong is a student in a martial arts school, in this picture he is training for his stunts while his friends was recording his practice. He is practicing because he wants to audition for the lead role of the upcoming movie of Director Ban. After a while he treated his friends to the hair salon of his grandfather for free but they were caught by the old man because the manager of the salon called him. Dae Woong tries to explain that he will pay for the fees and that he must fixed his hair so his grandfather let him do so, but silly Dae Woong left, grab his motorcycle and hurriedly went away from his grandfather.

After some minutes of trying to find a salon to fixed his hair, he was being followed by a police car and after a while, he was already inside a jail not knowing that this was done due to the request of his grandfather.

His grandfather went and of course to free Dae Woong. In this scene, they are going to a remote school in the province, his grandfather told Dae Woong that he will study there until he becomes a good and responsible guy. But luckily Dae Woong slips away haha by riding in the back of a truck while they are on a stop over. He was soon on a small town trying to find some shelter because it was raining hard and luckily an old man from a nearby temple accomodated him.

Now for a short story of the life of a gumiho(nine tailed fox), this is a temple as you can see haha :)) or that is what i called the mini house in this picture haha. Inside this house is a painting of a grandmother with a fox beside her. The painting is the home of the gumiho. Once a while the gumiho went to the human world to mingle with the humans.

The man in the village or to wherever she went, all the man was mesmerized in her beauty. Indeed she was really beautiful, so the women being jealous with the gumiho seeks help to the godmother to do something to the gumiho. After that rumors spread that the gumiho eats human liver.

In this scene the gumiho is patiently waiting for the arrival of her future husbands but because of the rumors that she eats human liver, the humans were really scared of her so thats the reason why his groom didnt show up. The godmother hearing the appeal of the townsfolk cut off the tail of the gumiho and put her trapped on the painting so that she would no longer be able to go to the human world.

Courtesy to : http://www.dramabeans.com for the screen pics and the format of the series review.

I hope my girlfriend is a gumiho :)

Its been a while since I last posted here in my blog haha ill be going to province this morning just to relax a bit in preparation for my last year in college and of course my last year in college will be really tiring considering that im an officer as well as im currently in a moving on process, starting to rebuild myself again haha. its been a while since i decided to move on and the result is me being an empty person haha im just thankful that im studying for my upcoming exams to have something to hope for but nonetheless my heart is empty right now, i have no info. about what's happening to her, i really have to put a distance and to leave her, its hard but i know her life is better now considering she's happy and very ok. after some time, i found myself being addicted for the first time so much in a koreanovela i even disregarded my study time, and that was because of the series "My girlfriend is a gumiho". It was a very very good show, a combination of fantasy, comedy and romance. It was all about a fox girl named "MIHO" who wants to be a human and want to be with "Dae Woong" the man who freed her from 500years of being stucked in painting. This show made me feel how it is to be in love. It made my heart beats faster, it made me cry, yes it made me cry because it was real good specially the scenes when Miho was crying, it was really lonely to see such beautiful girl cried and their love story was really good...the scenes when they are hugging each other, holding hands, Miho shouting "Nan dangsin i neomu neomu neomu neomu neomu neomu joh-a!" meaning I like you so so so so so so much! ♥ was really kilig to the max haha  i miss that feeling when i was still in love with someone, i managed to smile laugh, cry because of this series.
here are the main characters:

GU MI-HO (Shin Mina)

EUN HYE-IN (Park Su-jin)

CHA DAE-WOONG (Lee Seung-gi)

aunt and grandfather

PARK DONG-JOO (Noh Min-woo)

KIM BYUNG-SOO (Kim Ho-chang) and BAN SUN-NYEO (Hyo-min)

My dream again shattered

hi. it really hurts haha.. all ive ever waited was for her to be with me on my birthday. but i did my best to come up with plans just to be with her but sadly all my efforts were wasted.. im really sad, i tried to come up with an alternative which is to visit her in the province just to make her happy but she rejected it.. why does it have to be like this? im just trying to make her happy but rejected me.. my efforts of saving money, not eating anything, begging my friends to give me some coins so that i can have money for my transportation.. im really disappointed, id rather have bad grades that to let this chance of being with her slip by.. all i want was to make her happy but why cant i have a chance to make it. i really dont know, it feels like there's nothing more to hope for my birthday.. all i wish was to be with her.. its very simple yet maybe its never gonna be.. its almost a month that ive not texted her, its really hard but maybe this is the best for both of us. i dont want to be a nuisance to her, i dont want to hurt her, i just want her to be happy, i love her so much that's why im trying to let go, im trying to move on, i know she's happy now, she's a lucky girl, there are many persons who love her and make her life more meaningful. Its hard for me to not know how's she doing but i know i can make it. i love her with all my heart but sadly my story is just about to end again, she's been my life for these past years, my heartache my happiness, i just want her to be happy. this is goodbye for now...

After 1 month

Hello guys, its been a month since I last wrote something here haha. A very tiring month indeed, the most stressful and the most emotional month this 2011. She broke up with her bf, ive overcome the tedious decision making, and this afternoon, ive lost it haha. now im just an ordinary student, im a little bit sad, ive almost burst in tears haha specially when i talk with a past pres. but atleast ive tried not to let my supporters down, but sadly i lost the battle, maybe god has other plans for me, now ill just hang on to what will come, maybe ill just be an officer again when they'll ask me to join them, maybe not. i just dont know, all i want is just to think of how will i make her happy considering that she has gotten into another broken relationship, i know she's hurting right now so that's why i need to make her smile even if it's just a little. only few weeks from now it'll gonna be my bday. that's why im so excited, ill be with her again, ill be able to see her smile, ill might be able to hold her hands again, this is the most exciting event that will happen in my life. and of course i thank god he have givien me another chance, i just hope that it'll push through haha because i dont know what ill feel if fails. hope she's ok right now. ill make her happy that is for sure :)