My Christmas and New year post

This is the best vacation ive had in my life. It is very relaxing and i can still recall how i feel back then, actually this post is very late but since there is no internet connection in the province and im not in the mood to study ill just type and share my vacation. ill just share the memorable part haha which is when i called her last christmas and new year. Oh yea her wonderful laugh, her sweet and cute voice, her saying that i am sweet, thanking me for what ive done to her, how can i forget that call and besides the last time i called her was way back a month ago, well last christmas of course we talked about anything, from how is her vacation up to her relationship with her bf, it was nice talking to her again, feels like heaven haha lol specially when i sang "you decorated my life" to her by making a call haha then after a while i received a message thanking me and saying its so sweet haha and you know what? during my call last new year my first call ended up a disaster because i was so damn afraid to tell her my lines haha damn and besides she was on her way to the market thats why it is very noisy so i just told her that ill call her again later, and happily the second time of my call, i just pull out all my strength and luckily im able to deliver my speech, i wrote the things that i will say to her haha so that i will not have idle time, it was all my thanks to her for making my year so very memorable, of course i was so damn happy that i was able to tell her things although the disappointing part is that while i was telling her my new year speech, her phone suddenly went out of battery what the hell, it was just almost 10mins but i was not yet a fourth in my piece, she told me to wait but sadly i didnt have another chance to continue my dramatic at the same time corny and joketime lines haha that made her burst into laughter haha.. but at least i have a chance to talk to her and for me its ok than none. well thats ok to end my most memorable and most remarkable year.. Goodbye 2010, thank you for all... Hello 2011, i hope ill be able to make more memories...... specially with her....

coldness from my heart

it is already saturday. only one week left then i will be able to sleep soundly again with no worries, no pressure just mere enjoyment and the thing i want most is relaxation. Ive been sleeping almost 4hrs this week. My christmas gift for her is really consuming every bit of my effort. It is really hard, i never imagine this gift to be really hard. In addition to that i have responsibilities to my organization which adds to my worries and problems. I dont know how i can finish this gift. All I cling is my hope to make her happy. All i do is pray that everything will be alright and that i might not collapse and fall due to over fatigue. This is the hardest point of my second semester, with all this trials piling up. There are really times when i want to give up and just be dead for a while. My negative side is much stronger considering im very tired. But at some point i dont wanna give up because i might not have a chance to see her eyes smile. I might not have a chance for a minute of conversation, for a minute of sitting next to her. So im doing the best that i can, the best of my effort, though i have doubts and i have fears in my heart that will explode in a moment. I still do not lose hope, besides this is all ive got, if it will be gone, what will happen to me? i justs want to write something in order to lessen what i feel...

To contiue my post, i have given up my christmas gift for her because i really cant finish my gift. I was really down, it was so sad to think of that my effort will just go to waste. But im sorry but i have to give up for now. So after deciding what to do, days passed by and it was almost jpia day, a day before i receive my gift from my tax professor and i was really happy because i really love to have it and second out of nowhere she texted me that she will give me her gift when she came back from the province so i was so damn happy but to my disappointment my cp was damage and all my precious messages frome her was gone in an instant. damn i really saved those messages, they were my precious treasures that i kept for almost i year. I cried instantly when i got home because it has been a part of me for one year, i always read those messages when im down, when im happy, before i sleep after i wake up in the morning, it has been apart of me. Those messages will not happen again, those memories i can no longer revisit, those sweet messages of her. this post will be unending if i write my heart out because im really sad.

Anyways it was all over so i just have to look forward seeing a brighter day...

This is my December

I have no class today so i manage to write something about what has happened to me over the past days. Well this week was full of activities so i was out at class. There's a lot of singing, dancing and other extra curricular activities that happened. Last night our college celebrated our foundation day, and overall it was fun. Me and my classmates manage to join the activities and it was my first time to join that boodle fight because last year i just hid in the shadows haha and i cant take the food. Anyways its a bit ok this year and besides we are only few eating those mountain of mixed foods. I also participated in the tug of war and after the game was finished my hands ache haha but it paved of because our team was the champion. I was also excited last night because i might got a chance to see my love and eventually it happened so i was happy seeing her again and checking out if she was really ok because she was sick this past few days and even admitted to the hospital. Though it was only  a matter of minutes, still for me that's fine as long as i saw her smile, heard her voice, for me it is ok. Still she is the best girl i ever met oh yea.

The last event was the beauty pageant and the fashionista, i was amazed by the costumes of the contestants, it was really good but it was much more amazing how they portrayed and walked in the aisle while people were rooting for them. For my classmates and friends, they were really fabulous haha, they have experiences a wonderful event in their college life. Kudos to them! I know they wont forget last night because that night is really a moment worth remembering in their entire life and as for us the viewers, we wont also forget how they acted while they ware walking haha and the laughs we shared. After the day ended we ate first before going home because we were already starving and talk about silly things haha.

Last day was a long day, and after i went to bed, I realized it was her 2nd monthsary, after that i felt happy for her after all she deserves to be happy, she deserves the best. My heart heart didnt feel the pain like before but one thing for sure, i miss her. As i remember how she walk last college day in the stage, as she walked with all her beauty i miss her, i really miss her. December was the month when she gave our "tawagan", it was the month when i started to feel something for her, it was the month were this all started. I might not be able to pursue my plan to give her a christmas gift, as for now i dont know if i have to but my heart wishes to. As far as i know, 4months... After 4months, i will surely hope I will be able to be with her again. Ill just wait.

SLEEP:this is what I want

These past few weeks, ive been going to school everyday because of some organization work to do. This sem is bombarded with activities until the last day of class this year, it is really exhausting, this is the part of my life when im trying to balance academics and responsibilities in the organization but somehow i can manage to work it out considering that my position is not that physically and emotionally demanding that's why i do not regret that i became a part of the organization. Im trying to be busy in order to let my emotional side relax haha. I miss texting her but i cant talk the topics i want to share to her. When she asks me whats wrong all i can say is nothing. Of course i dont want her to know that im in pain because of her. At least when im busy somehow i can lessen my thinking time about her. Im trying to focus more on studies and on my responsibilities. We had a test in a major exam this day, and somehow it is really not difficult but im careless in some numbers what the hell haha but somehow it's ok because I know for myself that I learned more than the others. It is really not that hard to accept if you just do your best, it may hurt a little but it is easy to get up back again. Scores are just mere scores that will be reflected in the class card at the end of the sem. What more important to me is the lessons ive learned, the lessons i traded in my sleep just to learn it, the number of days ive sacrificed my health my very precious time in sleeping in order to help myself to fulfill my dreams. At the end of the day all I want is to feel that it's ok, i did my best and i feel fulfilled. Next week will be a very busy week again but im sure that i can survive it with the help of the Lord. Just pray when you're down and you'll manage to take on a day. I can say that i can sleep soundly after this day and somehow put a smile in my face so Lord guide my love and hope she is well now because she's sick and that she'll be safe when she goes home.

School Mode

Okay first of all, as usual the first week of class are always the most boring days of school haha you just sit there and do nothing which is the most boring thing to do for me. The only somehow interesting events that happened was when our class met the prof which is known for her excellent teaching skills combined with nerve cracking test haha. Im really excited in her class, actually i just finished reading 3chapters and after that all i want to do is rest haha the topics range from easy to hell haha although some topics are already familiar with me so i just need to polish and practice what ive learned this sembreak. And in addition to that my mind is crowded with the thoughts of our upcoming activities, it's a little relief to know that my position is not that hectic or else ill be going in mental in no time haha and if im going to add my lovelife then surely ill be the craziest person alive haha just joking,. Anyway our prof in tax is also a good professor, one of my idols and somehow his career path is the same path i dreamed of. Anyways as of this day, most of the subjects are really interesting for me that's why im grasping every lesson somehow easy. Up until this day i havent had a chance to txt her again, i definitely miss her, i have no idea what's going with her this past few days, she even got ill but of course all i can do is to pray for her that she will be ok, that she might not be sad, that everytime rain is going to pour she has an umbrella, and that she will go home safe. I hope everything turns out to be fine in the end.

Life is like a box of chocolate

I hate this day.. My pc just crashed, it hurts so much because my very impt files are there, the pictures of my 3rd love, the video of my surprise for her last valentines day, the pictures of our one day of being together, the original photos of my love letters for her, all those very important files that ive kept and treasured are now gone.. it really saddens me tears are falling down damn. I have no one to talk to so i texted her to somehow help me ease the sadness im feeling right now. Eventually i still continues to cry haha but not because of sadness, it is because of happiness whew.. im happy because although im not her love she's still there for me, she said "do you know what i like best to you, you never let me feel im less important and you are always here to care for me, compare to what you did, this is nothing, i should be the one to thank you, you are more important than my problem. Its ok" after that i nearly melt haha i said to myself is that how she views me? my god im really happy and then flashback appears haha hoping again that she will realize someday that i really love her despite im only like this hehe drama much lol just let me be hehe this is a way of expressing my thoughts and feelings. Im flowing with so much love for her knowing she has a problem again with her bf but she said its not the time to tell me, im more important. her message really hit me, i feel being given importance, i feel being cared for. I like the feeling i really really like what she message to me.

In order to comfort me more and to move on with my broken pc, i chat with my 2 other beautiful friends haha. Everytime i talk to them, i really enjoy it, they keep on bashing me haha and of course letting me feel better. I really thank them for being good friends to me that i can share them my stories with no hesitations, that they are the ones i can lean on in times of my sadness and my happy stories.

I thought this is just another ordinary day but really life is full of surprises. I didnt expect this kind of story this evening. another meaningful message from her worth keeping are reading all over and over again haha i will be scolded again by my beautiful friends haha lol.

And by the way, please do pray for me i mean that my "future textmate" will give her number haha. im really looking forward to her number haha. so that ill be given new things to look for hehe but still anything starts from being friends hehe. good night and god bless to all of you haha. thanks for reading my post.

Goodbye 1st semester

Sembreak is almost over, 1 day left and Im back in the cruel world of school yet full of happiness sometimes. I dont know what to share to you. Oh! I remember, ive done an achivement this past few days. Do you know what it is? okay ill tell you haha, ive not texted my love for almost 4days!!! thats the longest time ive not texted her haha. unfortunately i cant control myself haha thats why this evening i texted her with a long message again that says "helow ms beautiful, tomorrow will be the start of the second semester. New problems and challenges are along the way. Give your best and dont give up. I hope that i can still be a part of your life this coming sem. My role will be the best disturber(is there such a word?) to you haha and in addition to that ill still be the person that will always txt you that you are beautiful so that you will smile always naks. i will still be here to continue being your star so that i can make you smile when you are sad specially when you are nearly crying which is i dont like the most or be a papa jack less his muscles so that i can advise you/help you a little bit with your lovelife somehow. Another sem that i will not leave you, another sem that ill be texting you at night just to tell you sweetdreams, another sem to be thankful youre my friend, a very special friend. goodluck and godbless, wish you all the best. I miss you very much. Sleep early and dont forget to send me your schedule so that ill know where to look at you hehe" that's all i hope she replies hehe but that doesnt matter as long as ive made my part to let her know my thoughts.

Goodbye first semester, you have made my laugh, made me cry every night, made be buy a liquor and drink it everytime i finished studying. This has been the most memorable part of my life and also the most heartbreaking part haha god and until now im feeling it. Im proud i survived it by giving my best efforts and by being strong..strong enough to cry at night when i no longer cant take the heartaches, the sleepless nights, pressure,stress all those factors that eventually made me a stronger person. Thank you Lord for the memories, those moments when i call her almost everyday and i can hear her laugh with my pointless conversations haha and of course the times i almost melt when she tells me "oh how sweet" using her sweet voice. god haha i can still remember every detail and im smiling as i share you this. I hope that this semester will be kind to me hehe specially to my one of a heck lovelife and to my studies. Lord help me. That's all folks. Lets sleep soundly and dont forget to pray. Goodluck.