Para sa iyo...

Kasalukuyan kong kinakain itong cake na dinesign ko para sa iyo hehe.. Kung nababasa mo ito Goretti, i guess nagkaroon na ako ng lakas ng loob magsabi sa iyo.. Honestly mas gusto ko sanang personal ko itong sabihin, na kaharap kita, na nakikita kita, naririnig ko boses mo at nakikita ko ang exrpression ng iyong muka, at para malaman mong seryoso ako sa mga sinasabi ko at hindi ako nagbibiro.. kasi gusto kong malaman mo ang tunay na nararamdaman ko para sa iyo, eh kaso siguro ganun nga talaga ang buhay, mukang hindi na talaga kita makikita.. .. for the past 8 months, simula nung nakita ko ung pic mo, sinabi ko sa sarili kong gusto ko laging masaya itong babaeng ito, naisip ko papaano kaya? milya milya ang layo niya sa akin, but then again kung sobrang importante sa iyo ang isang tao, hindi ka mauubusan ng paraan para maramdaman niyang importante siya, at sa tingin ko naiparamdam ko naman sa iyo, for the past 8 months, naging isang malaking kang bahagi ng aking dasal lagi kong dinarasal kay Lord "Lord sana po ingatan niyo po si Goretti, alagaan niyo po siya para sa akin, sana lagi siyang masigla, sana lagi siyang masaya, at kung malulungkot po siya, sana makaya niyang lagpasan ang mga problema at sana may mga taong darating para patawanin siya, sana po ilayo niyo siya sa mga taong sasaktan lang siya, kasi ako Lord hirap na hirap akong mag-isip ng gimik para lang mapangiti ko siya kahit ang layo ko, sana Lord mabigyan ulit ako ng chance makita ko siya at makasama, kahit saglit lang napaka laking halaga na po nun sakin, mabait po siya Lord, and she deserves the best in life kaya wag niyo po siyang pababayaan. Amen"

Noong time na nasa airport ka, and i had to say goodbye, dun ko narealize na ayaw kitang dumaan lang basta sa buhay ko, gusto ko magstay ka, kasi simula nung nakilala kita, naging masaya ulit ako, ung simpleng nakakausap kita, simpleng pagtyaga mo makinig sa mga walang kakwenta kwentang jokes at banat ko, simpleng usap natin gabi gabi, sabi ko sa sarili ko, gagawin ko lahat magstay ka lang sa buhay ko at hindi ako papayag na hindi kita makita, then i decided na magsummer job, i decided na sa birthday mo pupuntahan kita at isusurprise kasi that might be the last time na makikita ulet kita dito sa pilipinas.. sabi ko hanggat nandito ka, gagawin ko ang best ko hanggat kaya ko pang mageffort para sa iyo.. dahil noong sinabi mong aalis ka na at hindi ka na babalik, honestly naiyak ako dun, kasi sabi ko bakit ganun? ang layo mo na nga, lalo ka pang lalayo, pero ganun talaga ang buhay.. ginawa ko lahat ng pagtitipid sa work para lang makaipon, sandamukal na overtime, nakakapagod sobra, but then kapag naiisip ko nun na makikita ulet kita, sabi ko worth it lahat ng pagod ko.. and then one day, nagsabi ka sa akin, may nagkakagusto na sa iyo, na sabi mo may pag-asa siya, na sabi mo kung mas malapit siya, mas masaya ka sana.. nung kachat kita nun umiiyak nako nun ang sakit pala, sabi ko hindi pa naman siguro huli ang lahat, nandito ka pa naman sa pilipinas pwede pa akong magsabi sa iyo, sabi ko papalipasin ko lang ang board exam mo at aamin na ako kasi ayokong bigyan pa kita ng dagdag iisipin... sabi ko sana at least malaman mo lang nararamdaman ko bago ka man lang umalis.. 

And now the time has come, after mo malaman to, sana hindi ka magbago, sana maalala mo pa rin ako pag umalis ka na, na may isang Ronel Battad na ginawa lahat ng best niya makita at mapasaya ka lang kasi Mahal na Mahal ka niya, kasi Mahal na Mahal kita Goretti kaya nagawa ko lahat ng iyon, alam kong hindi ka pa pwede magboyfriend at diniscourage mo ako nun kasi sabi mo baka mabusted lang ako, well wala na akong pakialam dun, magustuhan mo man ako o hindi, ang importante sa akin napasaya kita kahit papaano, kapag dumating iyong time na ready ka na at pwede ka ng ligawan, babalik ako magpaparamdam ulit ako, maghihintay akong dumating iyong time na iyon kasi habang buhay ka ng may malaking puwang sa puso ko, at kung wala talaga akong chance para sa iyo, masakit man pero tatanggapin ko, kung hanggang kaibigan lang talaga ako wala akong magagawa dun, pero sana sa tuwing maiisip mo ako, sana mas maalala mo iyong mga times na napangiti kita.. Hanggang dito nalang, Mahal na mahal kita, sobra sobra... Naging masaya ulit ako ng dahil sa iyo, i never regret all the things i did, nahirapan man ako, seeing you smile makes it all worth it.. 

 Hindi ako super gwapo, hindi ako magaling sumayaw o kumanta, hindi ako marunong magluto ung unang beses kong nageffort magluto hindi ko pa naibigay sa iyo, hindi ako magaling magpatawa minsan kadalasan sablay pa, hindi rin siguro maganda ang kamay ko, hindi ako magaling maglagay ng wax sa buhok, hindi ako mapormang lalake, hindi ako ang ideal/best guy sa iyo... wala akong maipagmamalaki sa iyo, pero kung naghahanap ka ng guy, na mageefort at walang sawang magpaparamdam sa iyo kung gano ka kaganda, andito lang ako, hindi ako aalis sa tabi mo, kahit malayo ako, kahit hindi kita nakikita, lagi lang akong nandito.. If ever na makakatagpo ka ng guy na mamahalin mo, choose the best guy, ung 100x na better sakin, na ung mas magaling magsurprise sakin, at mas mapaparamdam sa iyo kung gano ka niya kamahal, I wish you all the best in life Goretti, You deserve the best, after all gaya ng naikwento ko sa iyo dati, im just a servant, not a prince charming, but for me you're my princess, you're my everything... Happy happy Birthday sa iyo, wala kong ibang hinangad sa pang araw araw kundi maging masaya at ok ka.. Mahal kita, sobrang mahal kita.. Ang importante sa akin, mapasaya lang kita.. salamat sa lahat and sorry sa mga nagawa kong mali sa iyo.. Ngayong alam mo na, i hope walang magbago.. kasi ako hindi ako magbabago, maghihintay ako hanggang sa time na ready ka na at payagan ka na ng parents mong maligawan, hindi ko alam kung gaano katagal but i will always stay.. 

my random thoughts

it has been a while since i last posted here in my blog. in just a few weeks ill soon be leaving my university. actually tinatamad ako mag ingles haha :)) naaalala ko pa rin ung time na umalis siya haha nak ng kamote, kelan kaya siya babalik? makikita ko pa kaya siya? galit pa kaya lola niya sa akin? i really dont know the answers to my questions, somehow i am still afraid, very afraid... specially when im thinking that she will migrate to california for good on october, yap the month of my board exam..i dont intend to be at that situation of just waiving my hand as i slowly say goodbye to her at the airport.. i dont want to experience that pain when i slowly walked away from her and i just cant do anything but to watch her from a distance.. that was a very painful experience saying goodbye from a distance.. everytime i look at our pic in my wallet i always remember her laughters her beautiful face, her nice smile, it was just a 3hr of being with her talking random stuffs but i cherished those short time being with her because hindi ko naman lagi siyang kasama and i fear we wont be together for a long time again since aalis na siya for good.. gusto ko pa sanang makipagkwentuhan sa kanya ng mas matagal, i want to go out with her...  i want her to be my queen...

my super merry christmas :)

december is the most busiest, most tedious and most tiresome month in my calendar haha. so much activities, so much love things to do and in addition to that i still have to study somehow. let me start my story by telling you how my very special christmas gift was made. I started doing my gift during the last week of november and i finished it last December 13 almost 3weeks of sleeping 3-4hrs haha. i spend almost a wooping 1500 pesos just for the materials on that and i cut many papers just to finish it. i really dont know how i finished it considering i had so much work to do, maybe it was just a mere sacrifice, yap i had sacrifice some events in our org, my studies, my sleep and my time because that gift was really very important to me. i want her to remember me and i want to make her happy and feel that even thou im very far from her i can still make her happy, i can still do so much effort just for her because i like her, because i care so much for her, i dont know if shell love me or not, i will just hope and pray someday she will but for now i just want to make her feel special. December 13 was also the day when i sent my gift to lbc for delivery, yap it was a very tiring day because we had an activity at that time and i was pissed off because im very tired of walking and walking and walking but when i started to put my gift on the box and writing her name with address on it, my day became so at peace, when i was in lbc, i dont know what to do haha because that was the first time i will deliver something, but luckily it was a simple process. i was surprised when the lady told me to opened the box, when i opened it she viewed all my works haha i was shy at that moment specially seeing my work being viewed by others haha but at last i received my receipt marking the end of my christmas project, i just went to the computer shop texted her that i already delivered my gift for her. and that was the end of my long 3 weeks of hardwork and a lot of sacrifice. i woke up the next day with a lot of goodvibes, i texted her that she try to drop by at the lbc if my gift was already there. afterwards late at noon, she texted me saying she had already received the box and it was heavy haha i really literally jumped into my seat because i was at the computer playing dota at my house then, i called her dont know what to do then run back and forth from the window to the back place to the window haha. she told me why was it very heavy i said secret dont open the box yet, i joke that there's a rabbit inside haha then finally i allowed her to open the box, i was listening carefully how he unwrap it afterwards she said there's so many plastic and box haha then when she finally saw my gift she said aw, and she started crying and said so sweet of me and that i was nakakainis haha. i apologize because there were no drawing and stuff but she was crying i can hear her, she even said droplets of tears are falling to my gift she said thank you very much then she read my message she was so happy at that time i can feel it, she really appreciated my gift, we talked i explained, i told her she's my crush and she was speechless, i can no longer recall every words she said but i can recall the feeling of so much happiness inside of me because she really liked my gift, , i was so happy, all my efforts were not wasted, she even told me her mama told that i am such a sweet guy. ill never forget that day, hearing her laugh, hearing her how surprised she was and hearing her cry, not because of sadness but because of happiness. and i thank the lord he gave me strength to finished that haha. until now we are good friends, calling her often texting her, she is such a nice lady and now im planning to pursue her even more, i have started doing my surprises next year because i want to give efforts to her now that she is still in the philippines, ill make her the most special lady in my life, ill make her feel that she's the pretties in town :) i really love her and ill do anything to make her stay. merry christmas to her, and thak you lord for having her as very wonderful gift to me as my light as my friend, and as my hope :)

My daily happiness

Everytime i woke up early in the morning, she always occupies my mind and she is the one whom i last think of. Currently ive finished my christmas gift to her, hope she'll like it. it took me almost 3weeks of sleeping 4or5am but at last it was finished. I want her to feel that although im very far, i can still manage to make her feel that she;s the most beautiful girl to me, and that i really love her so much. i hope she'll stay in my life just like what she texted me. i hope she appreciates me for who i am. i may not be the most handsome best guy out there but if she is looking for a man that will love her and gift all what he got, she can may me a choice. im not assuming she likes me, remember that is the basic rule in accounting "do not assume otherwise stated" all i can do is someday i hope i can have a chance to prove my worth and love to her, that even though im not the best looking man out there, i can give her 101% of my effort, i dont know what i'll do if she will leave in my life again. i dont like to be hurt again that's why im being cautious but stll when i know she's lonely and in the brink of crying i cant help but to come and be a superman thou all i can do is call her and give her soothing words still for me that is not enough and that is the least thing i can do for her, she is a very nice lady, i cant help but to smile whenever i hear her laugh and when she starts to deliver pick up lines for me. she's really kind for her to call me sometimes and make me feel that i can be an important person also. hope she'll be fine and i hope i can give her additional smiles fore her christmas. i wish her to be well and happy and i thank the lord for making me smile again because of her :)

Goretti, the girl who brought back colors to my life :)

its been a while since i last wrote something in my blog. many events have happened but overall it was happy. It was all because of a girl named Goretti. She's a beautiful girl, kind, talented and has a nice cute voice and a nice curly hair :) Ever since sembreak my days have been colorful, she gave meaning to my life again. She laughs at my corny jokes and pick up lines, she always reply to my text and she gave me a chance to call her whenever i have a load hehe. Actually i met her last November 18,2011... yap the day when i felt what real happiness was like again. she was so beautiful, i was captivated and mesmerized, she was even more beautiful in personal than when im looking at her pictures.

Sitting beside you doing nothing means perfectly everything to me :)

I brought her and her family some foods particularly a box of pizza and krispy kream donut, yap it was the first time i tasted and bought that kind of donut haha. it was expensive but the outcome was so great. Actually i have encountered difficulty in getting there haha i thought i was lost but thanks to the persons whom i asked along the way i managed to went to their place safely hehe. I saw her waiting outside the building and when i was about to get near, her beauty is what made me smile big time. We ate my food together with her sister and cousin, we shared laughters, i got some pictures with her, it was so great! i was so happy at that time, i also gave her my remembrance, yap a tumbler which  i waited for hours haha but that waiting was worth it because i made her happy, i made her smile and she appreciated it very much :) ever since that day we have been texting more, ive started to call her and everytime she answers, everytime she laughs and we talk for hours, every day has been a happy day for me, i know she cant be courted right now, i know that she's miles away, but ill wait for the right time, waiting for her is i think very worth it. I dont want to let someone dear to me slip away again so im putting the best of my efforts just to make her feel that i care even though im miles away. currently im making my christmas gift for her and i hope she'll be glad. at this moment she maybe sleeping, she's sad, that's why im trying my best to let her ease the sadness somehow with my text, that's the best thing i can do for now. and i hope when she wakes up in morning her sadness that she feels may be much better. i dont want her to be sad. ill do my best to not make her sad. she's a good lady and she gladly deserve to be happy. all i want is for her to be happy :)

first semester wrap up

okay lets first go backwards for the moments of the first sem and ill be starting with our quiz bee that was held at mapua makati last september, and yap i was disappointed again what the hell because majority of my answer were wrong some were will guesses and so we only placed 6th in that contest. After that the jpia general assembly took place, it was very tiresome but fun specially when we saw our fellow members performed and the most important part was that the officers danced haha, that was my first dance since a decade perhaps, it was very fun and it was a very good last general assembly, of course there's the finals which made my life miserable lol haha but it was a very big blessing from the lord that my lowest grade was 2.00 which i was very proud off and what's more important is that i am a DEAN'S LISTER yes im very proud for that i really worked hard for that and i thank the lord for that hehe. and up to now im having my most happiest sembreak ever!! it was because of my new friend but not so new because she has been my classmate way back ago but i never imagined how funny and how happy to be able to txt and chat with her although she was miles apart it really feels good to be able to see her name in my inbox, i feel very good whenever she replies to my txt, i dont know what's with that girl but she's really adorable maybe it was because of her display pic, she's really beautiful in there and of course her smile played a big factor in her pic, then after that can't really erase my smile haha its like her smile is contagious and its that it really brings a lot of good vibes to me, and i hope we could be better friends/txtmate i hope she'll have a vacation here so that maybe we could hang out and ill treat her that's for sure also im really surprised when she called me, oh men that was the first time a girl called me haha that was a real big surprise and somehow a memorable one, i really didnt expected that and her voice it was really good :) it gives more reason to admire her, she's a talented girl and i know it will be fun to be with her. also i have a good basketball this sembreak which i really really missed, i scored 5pts today, 1 steal, 2 blocks!! i told the lord before i leave, "if ill be able to score 5pts, will there be a chance that she might like me?", it rained, there's lightning, there's thunder it even flooded in the basketball court but thank god i scored 5pts so does that mean that i have a chance :) im really really happy with my life right now haha also i prepared a gift to my two very very good friend and ill give that in our enrollment hope they will like it hehe. that's all folks.. i thank the lord for this memorable sem, and i prayed that of course my last sem in college will be very very great.

4th Place

Wish i had one...means more a lot than all the medals and trophies in the world..

i woke up at 4am this morning, actually i didnt manage to have a good sleep because i woke up hour by hour maybe because im really nervous at the same time pressured after i was informed that one of my classmeyts got a perfect score in the quiz bee in tax and hailed as the champion omg, she's really amazing, im really nervous because im thinking that i cant be like her or something like that, i decided to browse my books but eventually i failed haha i just listen to my mp3 to relax a bit and decided to start my day. when i saw my fellow classmeyts who were also participants of course i somehow felt that im not ready but doubts began to feel my thoughts and eventually the contest proper started and the first to seat in and fill the aura of tremendous pressure landed on the fifth place, of course that's not bad, i know she did her best, well after her was my idol of course, the one and only queen of practical accounting 1 in our school, and she emerge victorious being the champion again in the same board subject, i said to myself, they were really amazing, i have 2 classmates who were champion in their respective forte subjects, i said to myself i also want to be a champion so that ill have something to be proud of, ill be ashamed if i didnt have any medal to bring back home, im really nervous and pressured at that time, when they said farewell to me and wishing me goodluck, i felt sad, im alone so i treated myself to lunch and after that prayed at the nearby church, i prayed the lord that he might want to give me this contest, and im practically begging him because ive always longed to be a winner someday, it was my dream. the other contestant arrived and we talk for a while both of us wants to have a good news to our fellow classmates, i took a quick nap for a while and then the time came for me to show my guts and my knowledge, and the hell the contest started and for the first easy question i got a wrong answer, that made my confidence level surge below, i was pissed off for myself until the second question came, and damn ive got the wrong answer, then problem questions followed,  i somehow regained my confidence level a bit because i answered correctly questions 3 to 7 but problems 8-10 was a very disappointing problems to me because they were easy problem questions and the result, ye i landed to be the second lowest scorer then the long problem of the average round followed, i lost hope at the questions because its 4 questions interconnected, i really guessed due to my lack of knowledge/forgot how to do it and the time was really short luckily my wild guess in question number 3 was a right one but practically that long problem was a disaster question.. i paused for a while and said to the lord please give me knowledge and please guide me to the correct answer and that i dont want to give up, and somehow i survive that round because after that all my average questions were correct. i spent the ten minute break pondering why the hell did i miss those easy questions and trying to fight and continue the battle.. the difficult round was a blast, i manage to got only 1 wrong answer until the turning point question number 10... if i got it ill be 3rd but if not ill be a loser again.. after i raised my answer and heard the correct answer.. i said thereafter... im a loser again... im really sad and disaappointed.. if i got the correct answers in the easy round i still had the chance to be the champion but im such a big loser nagkalat ako sa round na iyon.. im really pissed off that's why i left the room... my other companion garnered the 4th place also.. he is telling me it's ok, i just nod but deep inside me, im really not ok... im really close to my goal of having a medal before i graduated.. i texted someone dear to me and said its ok im still the winner for her but i just cant relieved the fact that i lost again... i really cried when i came home because i didnt brought a medal to my family specially for her, i really wanted her to be proud of me, i have nothing to own besides my dream and yet i was close to this dream but i failed again..i cried a lot that night... after the tears subside, i texted her and told her to wait for me, ill be back to get a medal for her, and when that time comes ill treat her out.. she replied that she'll wait she'll look forward to that time so i wipe my tears and said to myself I'LL DO MY VERY BEST TO BE THE CHAMPION on the NCR CUP AUDITING PROBLEM for my love one, for my friends and for my family with the guidance and blessings from the Lord. Ill promise that ill study super duper hard to bring home a single piece of medal ive been dreaming for since im no longer a laude. i want them ti be proud of me and to be able to prove to them that i can win also.